But as early reports of COVID-19 began making waves in late January 2020, China quickly closed its borders to all flights and halted all adoptions to reduce the spread of the virus.

“China has a really stable adoption process that spans a few decades…just with COVID that’s really thrown things off,” said Kym Lee.

Now, as COVID’s year anniversary has come and gone, the Lees are among hundreds of families still left in total darkness waiting for China to begin processing paperwork so that they may travel to bring their children home.

The hardest part about waiting has been “wondering how she’s doing, and not having regular updates,” said Lee.

Since China began international adoptions in 1992, it has consistently been the top country for international adoptions, as it typically has the easiest and least expensive process. During the year 2005, a peak of 7,903 Chinese children were adopted by Americans.

Although, as China’s economy has grown and domestic adoptions have increased, international adoption numbers have significantly declined since 2005 to an average of around 2,500. Yet, as a result of COVID, 2020 has the lowest number, with only a handful of successful adoptions before things were shut down. 

Katie Chaires knew immediately after the adoption of her first son, Asher, in 2016 that she didn’t want him to be an only child. So, in December of 2018, she filed for a second adoption. She received clearance to fly to China on January 28, 2020, to bring her daughter Noa, 3, home, but three days prior, she received word that China had officially ceased all travel. 

Katie Chairs and her son Asher, 6, March 7, 2021. Photo by Julie Johnson

“I feel like the hardest part has been not knowing how she’s doing, not being able to see her grow,” said Chaires. “I feel like I’ve missed a year of her growth and development and getting to know her. Because at this point, she should’ve been home for a year already.”

Chaires said Noa has Global Developmental Delay, and she suspects medical issues as well. Still, without many updates other than the occasional photo and short video clips the orphanage provides, she doesn’t know a lot about Noa’s wellbeing. 

Initially, adoption agencies had prepared families for a one to two-week delay. But, as COVID grew to a global pandemic, they have stopped predicting when things might resume. What was once the most prominent international adoptions system has swiftly fallen to radio silence, even as other countries like Bulgaria and Columbia have slowly reopened to international adoptions.

On New Year’s Day of 2020, Cynthia and Andrea Bonezzi touched down in Maoming, a city along the tip of China’s southern coast, to adopt their second daughter Anna, 3. 

During their two weeks in China, there were no emerging reports about COVID-19. The city was getting ready to celebrate the Chinese New Year and, “everything was normal,” said Cynthia Bonezzi.

They remain amid the few families to successfully bring their daughter home on January 18, 2020, before China halted all adoptions. 

“We were able to get it done in record time and just made it before everything shut down in the pandemic,” said Bonezzi.

Families who were on their way to China with connecting flights were turned away at their midpoint destinations and returned home childless, Bonezzi said. 

And if the Bonezzis had been one of the families turned away, Anna probably wouldn’t be alive, as she was in a fragile state medically due to a chronic illness, and required immediate surgery when they arrived home in New York City.

Cynthia Bonezzi and her two daughters Lily and Anna in China’s White Swan Hotel, January 2020. Photo Courtesy of Cynthia Bonezzi

 There have been no reported cases of COVID outbreaks in any orphanages or institutions as a result of the lockdown.

But studies have shown, the longer children are in these orphanages and institutions, the more significant setbacks in motor skills and cognitive function they may encounter. The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia attributes these delays to a lack of verbal and physical stimulation from caregivers. 

According to Lisa Nalvin, MD, once a child is placed into an adoptive family, they typically “demonstrate remarkable ‘catch-up’ rates when given the appropriate support.”

The Lees celebrated their daughter’s fourth birthday in December by sending a cake and goodies to the orphanage. And as the days, weeks, and months slowly pass still with no word from China about when adoptions might resume, Kym Lee continues to remain hopeful that her daughter will be able to spend her next birthday at home.

“Everything’s really up in the air,” said Lee. “We’re praying and hoping and believing that she’ll be able to come home maybe this year.”

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“We were laboring under the impression that young people were not affected by Covid-19, and that was good news,” said Cuomo. “It is very possible that this has been going on for several weeks, and it hasn’t been diagnosed as related to Covid.”

Once the virus starts acting on kids, they may experience complications like inflammation of blood vessels that can be lethal if these reach their hearts. But health specialists did not have the knowledge of this being linked to Covid-19 until now. 

In addition to the possibly misdiagnosed cases in New York, health officials say there might be others nationwide that have not been linked to Covid-19. When the pandemic arrived in to the state. in March, the world had seen very few rare cases of kids affected by the virus. Experts believed adults and seniors were the most vulnerable.

 Children contaminated with coronavirus present difficulty to swallow liquids, diarrhea or vomiting, paleness, in addition to some of the symptoms that adults experience, like trouble to breathe and chest pain. But kids do not necessarily cough, lose the sense of smell and taste, or have muscular pain.  

Early recognition by pediatricians, referral to a specialist and critical care is essential.

Three New York children have died,  a 5 year old in the city, a 7 year old in Westchester County and a teenager in Suffolk County.

The State Department of Health is partnering with the N.Y. Genome Center and Rockefeller University to conduct a genome and RNA Sequencing Study to understand why the effects of the coronavirus are different in children, and how to treat them.

Cuomo said many of these children did not show respiratory symptoms previously associated with the coronavirus when they were brought to hospitals, but all of them tested positive either for Covid-19, or for its antibodies.

In countries like China and Spain, where there have been very few cases of coronavirus infections in children, one of the first steps to end lockdowns has been to allow kids to go on the streets accompanied by adults for a few hours a day. But for New York that now represents a risk.

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Gabriel Wolfson can’t vote or drive. But at 6, he cares about wildlife, and wanted to march in today’s climate strike.

“This is the most pressing issue of our time and it’s gonna affect our kids more than it affects us, so we thought we absolutely had to be here, “said his mother, Marisa Wolfson, an Upper West Side mom of two. 

As people of all ages protested in yesterday’s climate march, parents seized the opportunity to make it a family event with their young children. 

“We talk a lot about the connection between animal agriculture and climate change because that’s not being considered enough” said Wolfson, a film director.. “This is their second march because there was one in our neighborhood last spring. They loved it.”

Earlier this week, NYC DOE announced it would excuse absences for students participating in the march. Carrying handmade signs, students of all ages joined the estimated  60,000 marchers. Some parents felt this was a perfect opportunity to bring their children. 

“This is the first march I felt like I could bring my first grade twins to. I’ve been marching alot in the past number of years and always felt like it was a solo mission,” said Lauren Sharpe of Carroll Gardens, who took her daughters from school to march as a family. “I wanted them to see what happens when so many people gather.” 

Lauren Sharpe felt compelled to bring her 7 year old twin daughters to the climate march in because it was propelled by students.. Sharpe took her daughters from their Carroll Gardens school Friday afternoon to march as a family to Battery Park. Photo by Maureen Mullarkey

Other families joined the march in Battery Park, after the school day had ended. 

“I do think it was important for her to stay in school today because they did a lot of discussion around the subject and were able to make signs,” said Jackie George of Park Slope, who brought her 7-year-old daughter, Analise. “Listening to the news today, she asked me to go. She was really passionate about being here and being a part of the march and representing for kids her age.”

Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old Swedish climate activist who sailed across the Atlantic to promote environmental awareness, was the headliner of the strike in Battery Park. Families who were seated in a less-populated field of the park rushed into the dense crowd the moment she walked on stage. They cheered as if it were a music concert.

“People in power, their beautiful words are the same,” said Thunberg.”The number of politicians and celebrities  who want to take selfies with us and the same empty promises are the same. The lies are the same, and the inaction is the same, “We are doing this to wake leaders up. We are doing this to get them to act. We deserve a safe future. Is that really too much to ask?”

Protestors rush to the stage to with signs, cellphones, and hope to hear 16 year old activist Greta Thunberg speak at Battery Park on Friday. According to the Mayor’s Office, about 60,000 people attended the climate march in New York City. Photo by Maureen Mullarkey

Thunberg’s words served as an inspiration for several young students.

“I think it’s really inspiring how she [Greta] was saying that people just want to take pictures with her,” said Mia Grahm, 12, who came to the march with classmates, a parent supervisor and a teacher. “I think it was inspiring how it was like, well we are actually doing something instead.”

The climate march took place three days before the U.N. Climate Summit on Monday, when world leaders will discuss efforts for environmental actions. Many feel Thunberg’s speech is an obvious message.

“This is the most important issue of our time,” said Wolfson. “This truly is life or death and our kid’s future’s matter. If you’re gonna come out and march, this is what we’re gonna be marching for.”

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Cynthia Ryalls-Clephane, 69, has been a school counselor in Pasco since 1992. There are countless cases, she said, of parents too high to even discuss their child’s well-being. She has seen students unable and unwilling to focus on their exams because their mom overdosed the night before and they were placed into a stranger’s home in the middle of the night. The teachers she works with are just getting more stressed, overwhelmed and defeated. They want to help, but the district and parents expect them to be foster parents, behavioral specialists, social workers, school counselors, personal tutors, life coaches and babysitters — on top of simply trying to teach students a basic curriculum between the hours of 8 a.m. and 3 p.m.      

 “I get kids that come to school who are homeless living in the woods. … Many times kids want to be at school because this is the safest place,” said Ryalls-Clephane. “I think about a variety of children that I’ve talked to teachers about. They feel helpless because the drugs are causing so many problems.”

Throughout the year, Child Protective Investigations receives approximately 7,500 allegations of child abuse and neglect. Most of those reports are submitted by teachers, school administrators and daycare facilities who can no longer handle the tolling effects of the opioid crisis. Multiple educators said they have countless students who have clearly not bathed, eaten or slept more than a few hours for days at a time. Others have seen students become violent, throwing desks, getting into fights and verbally abusing other students and teachers.

“They say some really horrific things to you. They call you every name in the book. They will physically aggress towards you,” said Sarah Merchant, a behavioral specialist and teacher at Schrader Elementary School. “If you don’t have a thick skin you can definitely become burnt out. We have had teachers who have had breakdowns.”

This above-average problem, teachers say, has taken over a seemingly average town. The county of roughly 525,000 people does not offer much entertainment aside from a couple of old movie theaters, Dairy Queen, Walmart parking lots and unkempt beaches littered with pollution. The median income is just over $48,000 and only about 53 percent of citizens are in the labor force, many of which work in education, retail or fast food.

The Sheriff’s Office said there were at least 140 reported overdoses in January and February alone, which is 59 more overdoses than that same time frame in 2018. Sixty percent of those were directly related to opioids. They find it hard to keep track of how many people are truly using because the demand for drugs — specifically opioids — is so high, but Capt. Mike Jenkins of the Pasco Sheriff’s Office believes 2019 will continue seeing a rise in overdoses.

U.S. 19, the main road through Pasco County, is a hub for overdoses and drug deals. This needle was found lying a few feet off the highway, surrounded by pieces of cotton gauze and shredded latex. Photo by Li Cohen.

“I liken it sometimes to whack-a-mole. There’ll be a source of supply, we whack that one down and inevitably … there’s someone who immediately fills that gap within a short period of time and then the cycle continues,” he said.  

Even though the state and county have done a lot to combat opioid pills, he said there is still much more to do in regards to the illegal forms of opioids. “

“That solved one problem, but then that contributed to another issue. … If you do not address the demand issue something else is going to fill the void and fill the gap,” Jenkins said. “It’s just a matter of time.”

The office is also trying to handle the large number of opioid addiction cases where children are in the home. Over the past four to five months, Child Protective Investigations has had to remove 250 children from their homes because their parents or guardians were addicted to opioids, a problem that makes up 60 percent of all child removal cases in the county.

While CPI Director Ken Kilian said the department does their best to place children with family members, hundreds of children end up in foster care or staying with teachers until their parents can take them back.

“It’s not easy for a child victim who is witnessing their parents, their aunt, their uncle, suffer from this horrific disease,” Kilian said. “Addiction is extremely traumatizing and that has generational effects that we will see for years to come.”

And that trauma is expected to continue. As Kilian explained, the disease of opioid addiction is an endless cycle. The parents will continuously use, recover and relapse while the child develops behavioral and mental disorders they don’t understand and can’t control when they are at school. Then one day the parents take a dose a little too high. The child is left alone, hopeless and drained. They just watched their parents die and will have to go back to a school system the next day where the staff can’t help but mirror that same feeling.

Teachers feel more unprepared than ever

The school district is trying to help teachers by implementing Trauma Informed Care and the Harmony Project – initiatives that teach educators how to work with students and parents experiencing trauma and how to take care of themselves in dealing with that. Pasco schools social worker Danica Cockrell said being in a community that has high needs and high social deficits establishes an environment with drug use, poor mental health and a lack of communication. With the Trauma Informed Care, she hopes the schools will help teachers be prepared for what is expected to only get worse.

“It is no longer just coming to school to read, write and do math.’ We have to address and answer those social and emotional needs in order for students to be successful,” said Cockrell. I don’t think any school district will ever say that they are over-resourced or over-funded. …  We are definitely a whole child and whole family perspective – we have to be.”

But teachers in the area believe this initiative is not enough. They say there are too many students per teacher given the extent of the issues. They want more resources and support. They are struggling mentally, emotionally and physically to keep up with what is asked of them.

Despite reaching out to nearly 50 current teachers in the county, only two would agree to speak and , only on the condition of anonymity in fear of losing their jobs or worsening their situation in the classroom.

One of those teachers has been with Pasco for 13 years and works at a Title I school. She said the impact of this crisis is difficult to truly assess. Countless students do not receive their basic needs, such as stable housing, food and clothing because of their parents’ addiction, she said.

“How can you support them and tell them it will be alright when they lose their homes constantly? When there is no food, no electricity, no clothes, backpack, school supplies,” she said. “Many of us staff say constantly this feels like a mental health facility, full of emotional and behavioral needs in a place that lacks resources and personnel.”

This gap has led to a severe teacher shortage in the district. There have been 50 teaching positions posted on the district’s website since January alone. On the first day of school last August, there were 66 open positions.

Teachers say it is increasingly hard to stick around when they don’t receive cooperation from students, parents and administrators. Merchant explained that in the behavioral unit at Schrader Elementary School, only three out of seven teachers returned to their positions this year. Replacing them has not been easy, as the replacements tend to be first-year teachers or are cross-certification teachers who earned bachelor’s degrees in a different academic area and are working on getting their teaching certifications.

“I don’t know there’s a lot of teachers that see this day in, day out for years because not a lot of teachers stick around,” she said, adding that teachers tend to have emotional and mental breakdowns because of the behavioral issues they experience with students. “I would say the breakdowns are probably once every month or two. … Every day, every other day we have major incidents.”

The second anonymous teacher worked in Pasco for more than a decade and only recently moved to another district after suffering physical attacks and threats from her third-grade students. She claimed she never received adequate assistance from the school, the district or parents and the support staff was “often underqualified or spread too thin.” She, and many other teachers, she said, often left their classrooms shaking, crying, and headed to therapy or the doctor for elevated stress.

“Teachers are under severe duress and pressure due to the workload expectations that are completely and humanly impossible,” she said. “We are charged with finding differentiated lessons to meet the needs of kids who are usually two to three years below grade level.”

She went on to say that administrators won’t write referrals for bad student behavior because it impacts the school’s overall grade and can create bad press. She has personally complained of threats from her students and administrators would not document them.

“Children who are severely neglected by unfit parents do not self-regulate and reason like kids from healthy, functioning homes. … We are trying to teach kids grade level standards when they are unable to focus, disrespectful, don’t care and know an adult at home doesn’t care,” she said. “Teachers fight a battle every day and we never win.”

Students try to take control

Ashley Dew was 12 years old when she found her dad was using opioids. Despite living most of her life in Pasco County, she felt that most of the people she grew up with, including teachers and school administrators, did not know how to help her.

Her experience as a student dealing with the opioid crisis led to her becoming a teaching aide at World of Montessori School in Pasco. The 19-year-old is surrounded by despair seeing children fight the same struggles as she did. Many of her kindergarteners and first-graders suffer from behavioral and neurological disorders because of their parents’ drug abuse. Drug deals occur within feet of the school’s locked gates.

“In the classroom you have your bad students … Talking non-stop. Always having to be the center of attention,” she said. “It breaks my heart. I have two brothers in my class and I know that they go through a lot because of their father with substance misuse.”

As a teaching aide at World of Knowledge Montessori School, Ashley Dew, 19, works with students to complete assignments and learn material that works with their mental and emotional state on any given date. This document helps students organize what they can and cannot handle given their situation for the day. Photo by Li Cohen.

The school does what it can to help. When students are overwhelmed – academically or personally – Dew and other teachers allows them to play with class pets, walk through a vibrant garden or have one-on-one talks with staff members. During her talks with students, Dew tries to help students cope with their parents’ situations and realize that they are not their parents’ caretakers. She, however, struggles to take her own advice and regularly chokes up when she reflects on her situation.

Dew watched her father, who she was once very close with, become a disheveled shell. Her relationship with her father became a couple of comments on Facebook and missed birthdays. There were days when she found it difficult to focus in school and on the days she needed the most help understanding her father’s choices, the school counselor did not have a spare moment to help.

“My father was never a bad person, but this drug issue changed him and changed us. … It hit me at my sweet 16. I didn’t have him come because every time I’m around him it was like talking to a stranger,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “I wanted that daddy-daughter sweet 16 dance but I didn’t get it. It’s sad waking up with anxiety like am I going to get that call – is he dead or alive.”

One of the worst parts of the situation for Dew was that she felt her multiple high schools never took her situation seriously. She often felt left in the dust and it took years for her to realize that there were others going through similar situation.

“I definitely don’t feel like [schools] take it serious. It’s like ‘Oh, your dad’s just a junkie,’ and that’s not true,” she said, adding that the first time she found help was at the PACE Center for Girls. “In public school you were lucky to even get in the counselor’s office. I think I saw my counselor once. … They just don’t really care.”

While Dew hopes that her school can set a new standard for how teachers and schools as a whole approach these issues, other students in the district are trying to help students better understand what opioids are, how they impact the body and how they can impact the future of the crisis in Pasco.

Jocelyn Meriwether is only 14 years old, but when the Bayonet Point Middle schooler opens her mouth to speak about the opioid crisis, her soft and high-pitched voice becomes a megaphone. After seeing a presentation on the effects of opioids by local youth-led organization Save Teens Against Drugs (STAND), she decided to get involved and has since worked her way up to vice president of the organization.

“Kids don’t understand the effects. They think, you did it for a day and if you don’t like it you never do it again,” she said. “But it’s not that simple; you can get addicted and then it follows you because you have that need for it and that want for it.”

As part of the youth-led organization, Meriwether goes to various events and speaks at conferences in Pasco. She wants students and parents to know the signs of substance abuse so they can help those who are struggling and spread awareness about the direct and indirect effects.

“Kids will get disruptive in classes and a big thing in our school right now is fights,” she said. “Disruptions is hard because the teacher gets involved and tries and stops it. It takes away from our learning time and our education.”

Meriwether n and the other STAND members are working with state legislators to get their organization involved with more schools and change prescription opioid legislation.

A community searches for a solution

Since 2016, Pasco County schools have gained more than 3,300 new pre-k to 12th-grade students among their 96 schools, according to the school district, but only one more instructional employee. There were 601 new support employees, including secretaries, bus drivers and custodians, as well as administrators.

Along with caring for students who are dealing with opioid abuse at home, World of Knowledge Montessori School in Holiday, Florida, is surrounded by drug deals and people under the influence coming within feet of the school’s property. Photo by Li Cohen.

While the district has an overall “B” rating by the state, the majority of the schools within the district are rated a “C,” meaning they are just meeting the standard requirements for student performance, learning gains, student attendance, and standardized test results. When schools and districts have higher grades, they receive more funding from the state and more control over what they can do with that money.

“Without the funding to put people in place to do threat assessments, to respond to students’ needs, we’re not going to be able to meet our goals or meet our responsibilities under the law,” said Public Information Officer Linda Cobbe. “People don’t know what the district does as a whole but they also don’t understand what teachers do in a day. … People say you get off for the summer, you only work 8 to 3. Why should you make even what you’re making. But it’s not just standing in front of a classroom and teaching.”

Cobbe and other school administrators are continuing to implement Trauma Informed Care, as well as more programs and trainings for teachers. Police have created a system that looks at opioid addiction as an illness, rather than a crime, and now focus on helping people recover from addiction. When they execute a search warrant at a home where they know there are addicts, for example, they bring health coordinators to talk and help addicts mentally process the situation.

Even still, overdose cases are increasing, as is the burden on educators and students.

Ryalls-Clephane said smaller class sizes may help. Per state legislation, pre-k through third-grade classes should have no more than 18 students; grades four through eight should have no more than 22; and grades nine through 12 should have no more than 25.

“I work in a school with 700 students and I’m the only school counselor there,” she said. “In my fifth-grade classes I’ve got 26 kids … One or two more make a huge difference. One with behavior problems makes a huge difference.”

Dew wants schools to realize how the behavioral and mental effects of dealing with the opioid crisis truly impacts her and the hundreds of other students and teachers. There should be more counselors and staff available that are thoroughly trained to speak with and help all members of the school.

“Every teenager feels like they’re alone if they’re going through a personal issue with substance misuse,” said Dew. “It takes a big part of their self-esteem out and they may think this is how my life is so this is how I’m going to grow up.”

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Christopher Persley woke up around 7 a.m. He got breakfast and lunch for his five-year-old daughter, Camilla, before she left for school. For the rest of the afternoon, Persley did dishes, finished laundry, cleaned the house, and squeezed in some reading and writing. Once his daughter got back from school they played, ate a home cooked meal, and started getting ready for bed.

It was a typical day for Persley, a stay-at-home father.

“I have a truly wonderful relationship with my daughter,” said Persley, 42, of the Upper West Side. “There is nothing more fulfilling than that. I get to be the one who picks her up from school, who helps her maturation, who supports her identity development.”

Since 1989, the number of fathers who stay at home with their children has nearly doubled, reaching its highest point at 2.2 million in 2010. The number of stay-at-home fathers who say the main reason for staying home is caring for their family has also grown significantly since 1989, increasing from 5 to 21 percent.

Dr. Caryn Medved sits in her office at Baruch College and explains her recent studies on stay-at-home fathers. Photo by Alex Zuccaro

Dr. Caryn Medved, Associate Professor of Communication Studies at Baruch College, did an in-depth study on stay-at-home fathers. Her inspiration for this study actually came up when her own brother became an at-home father.

Medved believed that one of the most important takeaways from her project was the establishment of parenting roles with at-home dads and breadwinning mothers was not just a result of economic issues.

“You read a lot in newspapers and things like that, that often times this arrangement is brought about because of economics,” she said. “But I was surprised at the number of couples who were there for all sorts of other reasons.”

Many couples also felt more comfortable with a parent staying at home with their children instead of using daycare facilities or hiring a nanny.

For the Persley family, Christopher and his wife, Jenelle, knew that they wanted someone within the family watching their daughter.

“I think our biggest fear was how much of an influence would someone else be on our child,” said Persley. “Would they stifle who she is and lead her to become someone who she’s not?”

Because his wife had stricter hours at the lab she worked at, it made more sense for Persley, who worked at an independent school, to transition into being the at-home parent. He had worked with kids for a long time at his school and was excited about filling that role

“Jenelle loved the idea of it being me,” he said. “She always felt that I was the parent better suited for that sort of extended time with our child.”

Once the couple officially made this decision, Persley told his supervisor that he was going to be leaving work to be a full-time dad. He was surprised to see that some of his co-workers weren’t as supportive of his decision as he thought they would be.

“There were some other people in the community that really didn’t get it, who thought that I was being fired saying, ‘There’s no way this guy is walking away from this job to be home with his kid,’” he said.

Persley also had trouble finding other stay-at-home fathers he could connect with.

Eventually, he found NYC Dads Group, a community of fathers who get together for playdates, classes and other social events

Medved discovered through interviewing her participants that these societal perceptions of the traditional male role does affect how stay-at-home fathers define themselves. Some of them own their title, but others get more insecure in certain social situations, like at a wife’s work party or an outing at the park.

“They might be at a party and someone asks, ‘So what do you do?’ And there certainly were plenty of men that I talked to that said, ‘Oh it depends on the day. Sometimes I’m a photographer,’ which is maybe a part time job or a hobby they do,” she said. “And sometimes they own it. But those kinds of situations are the most challenging for them.”

For breadwinning mothers, similar social situations can be challenging for them as well.

Cherry Vasquez, is a working mother of two. She currently lives with her husband, Jim, in Dallas, Texas.

When Vasquez first became pregnant at 21, she was making more money as a federal government worker than her husband, and that’s when they decided that he should be the at-home parent. Both Vasquez and her husband immigrated to the United States from the Philippines at a young age, and because of cultural differences, not all of the couple’s friends and family understand their household dynamic. Vasquez said that in traditional Philippine culture, the father is supposed to work and the mother is supposed to stay at home with the family.

Cherry Vasquez with her husband and two children. As the working mother of the family, Vasquez has had to overcome scrutiny from friends and her parents who believe in a more traditional household environment.

That is why Vasquez’s mother envisioned a different life for her daughter.

“My dad always stayed home too,” said Vasquez. “My dad took care of me, so that’s not something new to me. But my mom would have preferred for that not to be my family situation as well, because she was the one working. I’m sure she was hoping that I would change things.”

But she knew that having her husband stay at home was the best decision for their children.

“They actually really appreciate having one of us stay home,” said Vasquez. “So like when dad asks, ‘Oh can I go back to work now? You guys are older.’ They say no.”

And Vasquez doesn’t mind coming home to a cooked meal and a clean house either, since it gives her more time to spend with her family.

“He takes care of cooking and takes the kids wherever they need to be and that way, when I’m off of work, I don’t have to worry about all of that,” she said. “I can just spend time with the kids once I get home.”

Although stay-at-home fathering is still viewed as ‘non-traditional,’ the increase of this family dynamic over the past decade indicates that it is becoming more socially accepted in society. Even big companies like Lego, have introduced a stay-at-home dad figure as part of the brand’s new Lego City line. And many stay-at-home fathers, like Persley just want people to realize that dads are parents too.

“Most of us want to be just as involved as moms in the raising of our children,” he said. “And a man can be an at-home parent just as easily as a woman.”

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by Megan Jamerson

Days after the twin towers fell on 9/11 Eddie Coker wrote a song. The essence of that song became both the message of a youth organization and the reason he stood in Lower Manhattan on the 13th anniversary of 9/11 yesterday, with a sign that read “Forgive Others.”

“It was 9/11 that prompted the very first line [of the song] ‘each and everyone of us will fall’” said Corker.

Coker a resident of Manitou Springs, Colo., was once an opera singer in New York. After ac-cepting an invitation to perform with a friend in a children’s opera, he realized he had found his new calling. He became a singer songwriter for children composing not only music for his own albums but also for “Barney and Friends” and Borders Books.

When the tragedy of 9/11 happened, Coker had two small children of his own. His youngests daughter, was barely walking. In an attempt to process the pain and suffering of that day, he did what he knew best and wrote a song for his daughter. The song was a message of coming to-gether as a community and unconditional love one.

“We need to love each other, care for each other and be good to each other,” said Corker.

Coker’s need to explain the importance of compassionate treatment of others blossomed into a greater mission. A mission to provide youth with a formula for leading a happy and healthy life.

“Thirty years of working with children led me to realize we gotta help them deal with their heads,” Corker said.

After years of research he finally started an organization called Wezmore to fulfill this purpose. The Wezmore website is full of inspirational videos, songs and blog posts centered around their values. “It’s all about trying to spread goodwill towards human kind” said Coker.

Coker and his Wezmore Creative Director, Andrew Holzschuh of Dallas, Texas, came to One World Trade Center to work on one of their many video projects. They envision it as a letter to everyone.

They set up their camera in the middle of the chaos in Zuccotti Park. Steps from ground zero, they were surrounded by tourists clicking photos, families and first responders passing through to pay respects and church choirs singing the gospel. The crowds lingered and observed Coker’s performance.

Handwritten cardboard signs display musician, Eddie Coker’s, positive messages. Photo credit: Megan Jamerson

Coker used handwritten cardboard signs of varying sizes to display his positive messages. Be Kind. Be Generous. Be Good. Happiness is something you choose. Holzschuh,24, plans to use the footage he captures of Coker to create a stop action video for their website and hopes it will have a big impact.

“This is a significant day. The best day to send a message to the world of positive things” said Holzschuh. “What happened, 13 years ago, it happened from a lot of hate and it formed a lot of hate”.

Hate is what these men say they want to help children deal with.

“If we can at least forgive someone in our lives I think that makes a small difference” said Hol-zschuh.

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As the nation mourned the 13th anniversary of September 11, a 9/11 widow still struggles to explain the loss to her three children.

“It has become a great event in the family and our lives definitely revolve around it but it is a difficult subject to talk about,” said Lori Crotty, 53, of Summit, N.J. “At first, it was really hard for them to understand because they were so young.”

Crotty lost her husband, Kevin Crotty, who worked on the 104th of the 2 World Trade Center on 9/11. She was left to raise three young children at that time, Megan, 7, Kyle, 5 and Sean, 2.

She encouraged them to be open about their feelings and tried to answer their questions but knows it may never be enough.

“I hope I taught them about good and bad,” she said. “Not in the sense of, who’s the bad person and who’s the good person, but to be able to understand in the higher level of the worldly perspective.”

Her youngest son, Sean, now 15, was with her yesterday to visit the newly opened 9/11 Museum, but he cannot talk about his father or the attack.

Other parents who visited Ground Zero yesterday had to face difficult conversations about the attack.

Robby Badruddin, 42, of Bandung, Indonesia, sat next to his son, Zoya, 12, and explained the memorial site. This is their first visit to the United States.

“I think we need to know where it is and what is left from the World Trade Center,” he said. “Although I never really told Zoya anything about it, but it is still a part of the world history that will be remembered forever.”

Zoya has heard briefly about 9/11 attacks from his friends and teachers. Coming from a Muslim majority country, the issue is less discussed with the same discourse as it has been in the States. Regardless, Zoya said, “I feel sorry for everyone who died. People should not die like this.”

Robby Badruddin, 42, and his son, Zoya, 12, from Indonesia, visited the 9/11 Memorial in their first trip to the U.S. Photo by Virginia Gunawan,

Badruddin did not think that it was his obligation to talk to Zoya about the attacks, he said he could get the information from other sources.

“Besides, I want him to be able to find the truth,” he said. “If he always come to me for the answer, I might only give him my truth.”

A more formal educational program has been prepared by the 9/11 Tribute Center called Teaching 9/11. They have a toolkit with a lesson plans and personal stories of people who were affected by the event to be used by any school in the world. The toolkit is available on their website.

Director of Education and Exhibits at The Tribute WTC, Wendy Aibel-Weiss highlighted the problem.

“At that time, most students have not been born yet or they were too young to remember and parents have avoided the topic,” she said.

“The toolkit could provide educators a comprehensive way of introducing the sensitive subject,” she said.

A grandmother herself, the Park Slope, Brooklyn resident wanted to teach the younger generations about “great heroism when a city, a nation, and the world came together and recovered from it.”

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